j . a . m . k . m . b: It's not even Mother's/Father's Day...

Pres. Thomas S. Monson, Oct 2008

"This is our one and only chance at mortal life—here and now. The longer we live, the greater is our realization that it is brief. Opportunities come, and then they are gone. I believe that among the greatest lessons we are to learn in this short sojourn upon the earth are lessons that help us distinguish between what is important and what is not. I plead with you not to let those most important things pass you by as you plan for that illusive and non-existent future when you will have time to do all that you want to do. Instead, find joy in the journey—now.

... Professor Harold Hill, one of the principal characters in [The Music Man], voices a caution that I share with you. Says he, “You pile up enough tomorrows, and you’ll find you’ve collected a lot of empty yesterdays.”

f you have children who are grown and gone, in all likelihood you have occasionally felt pangs of loss and the recognition that you didn’t appreciate that time of life as much as you should have. Of course, there is no going back, but only forward. Rather than dwelling on the past, we should make the most of today, of the here and now, doing all we can to provide pleasant memories for the future.

Stresses in our lives come regardless of our circumstances. We must deal with them the best we can. But we should not let them get in the way of what is most important—and what is most important almost always involves the people around us. Often we assume that they must know how much we love them. But we should never assume; we should let them know. Wrote William Shakespeare, “They do not love that do not show their love.”³ We will never regret the kind words spoken or the affection shown. Rather, our regrets will come if such things are omitted from our relationships with those who mean the most to us.

Send that note to the friend you’ve been neglecting; give your child a hug; give your parents a hug; say “I love you” more; always express your thanks. Never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved. Friends move away, children grow up, loved ones pass on. It’s so easy to take others for granted, until that day when they’re gone from our lives and we are left with feelings of “what if” and “if only.” Said author Harriet Beecher Stowe, “The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone.”

In the 1960s, during the Vietnam War, Church member Jay Hess, an airman, was shot down over North Vietnam. For two years his family had no idea whether he was dead or alive. His captors in Hanoi eventually allowed him to write home but limited his message to less than 25 words. What would you and I say to our families if we were in the same situation—not having seen them for over two years and not knowing if we would ever see them again? Wanting to provide something his family could recognize as having come from him and also wanting to give them valuable counsel, Brother Hess wrote—and I quote: “These things are important: temple marriage, mission, college. Press on, set goals, write history, take pictures twice a year.”

Said one well-known author: “Both abundance and lack [of abundance] exist simultaneously in our lives, as parallel realities. It is always our conscious choice which secret garden we will tend . . . when we choose not to focus on what is missing from our lives but are grateful for the abundance that’s present—love, health, family, friends, work, the joys of nature, and personal pursuits that bring us [happiness]—the wasteland of illusion falls away and we experience heaven on earth.”

Said the Lord in a revelation given through the Prophet Joseph Smith, “In nothing doth man offend God, or against none is his wrath kindled, save those who confess not his hand in all things.”¹⁰ May we be found among those who give our thanks to our Heavenly Father. If ingratitude be numbered among the serious sins, then gratitude takes its place among the noblest of virtues.

Brothers and sisters, my sincere prayer is that we may adapt to the changes in our lives, that we may realize what is most important, that we may express our gratitude always and thus find joy in the journey."

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

It's not even Mother's/Father's Day...

I had a really fun conversation with Mom and Dad R. the other evening as I was finishing up work and they were just sitting down to a feast at the Cheesecake Factory in Newport. It's so great to have fun parents, on both sides, who we can easily talk to and who support us and love us unconditionally. They care immensely about our kids, about our lives, about our living situations, about our jobs, about our safety, about us visiting, and about things that make us happy.

I thought I would post today about my Mom and Dad. They are so great! What's funny to me is that with all the successful, powerful, generous, and spiritual things they've done and are doing, the thing I care most about, and makes me the most happy, is just when we can talk and laugh and be ourselves together. We don't always get that because most of our conversations are over the phone, or over a choppy webcam, and it's not always easy to connect. But maybe that makes our real connections all the better, because they are not as common. I love when Mom laughs openly, and when she jokes and chatters about things that are fun. I love when Dad wants to hear about my job, or cares about sports, and can relate to things going on in my world. I love that Mom and Dad both care about eternal things, and I love that they both care about fun, dumb, temporal things as well sometimes. I guess what I'm trying to get across here, is that they are great, and normal, all rolled up in the same bundle. Sometimes you get the church leader side of them, and sometimes you get the total opposite - and it's awesome to get both sides at just the right time.

Anyway, thanks to Mom and Dad, and to Angela's parents as well, for being so involved in our lives, and in our kids' lives. Thanks for raising us well, and for not completely letting us go when we branched out on our own. We love you very much.

j . a . m . k . m . b

Pres. Thomas S. Monson, Oct 2008

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

It's not even Mother's/Father's Day...

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