j . a . m . k . m . b: Leaving Los Altos

Pres. Thomas S. Monson, Oct 2008

"This is our one and only chance at mortal life—here and now. The longer we live, the greater is our realization that it is brief. Opportunities come, and then they are gone. I believe that among the greatest lessons we are to learn in this short sojourn upon the earth are lessons that help us distinguish between what is important and what is not. I plead with you not to let those most important things pass you by as you plan for that illusive and non-existent future when you will have time to do all that you want to do. Instead, find joy in the journey—now.

... Professor Harold Hill, one of the principal characters in [The Music Man], voices a caution that I share with you. Says he, “You pile up enough tomorrows, and you’ll find you’ve collected a lot of empty yesterdays.”

f you have children who are grown and gone, in all likelihood you have occasionally felt pangs of loss and the recognition that you didn’t appreciate that time of life as much as you should have. Of course, there is no going back, but only forward. Rather than dwelling on the past, we should make the most of today, of the here and now, doing all we can to provide pleasant memories for the future.

Stresses in our lives come regardless of our circumstances. We must deal with them the best we can. But we should not let them get in the way of what is most important—and what is most important almost always involves the people around us. Often we assume that they must know how much we love them. But we should never assume; we should let them know. Wrote William Shakespeare, “They do not love that do not show their love.”³ We will never regret the kind words spoken or the affection shown. Rather, our regrets will come if such things are omitted from our relationships with those who mean the most to us.

Send that note to the friend you’ve been neglecting; give your child a hug; give your parents a hug; say “I love you” more; always express your thanks. Never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved. Friends move away, children grow up, loved ones pass on. It’s so easy to take others for granted, until that day when they’re gone from our lives and we are left with feelings of “what if” and “if only.” Said author Harriet Beecher Stowe, “The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone.”

In the 1960s, during the Vietnam War, Church member Jay Hess, an airman, was shot down over North Vietnam. For two years his family had no idea whether he was dead or alive. His captors in Hanoi eventually allowed him to write home but limited his message to less than 25 words. What would you and I say to our families if we were in the same situation—not having seen them for over two years and not knowing if we would ever see them again? Wanting to provide something his family could recognize as having come from him and also wanting to give them valuable counsel, Brother Hess wrote—and I quote: “These things are important: temple marriage, mission, college. Press on, set goals, write history, take pictures twice a year.”

Said one well-known author: “Both abundance and lack [of abundance] exist simultaneously in our lives, as parallel realities. It is always our conscious choice which secret garden we will tend . . . when we choose not to focus on what is missing from our lives but are grateful for the abundance that’s present—love, health, family, friends, work, the joys of nature, and personal pursuits that bring us [happiness]—the wasteland of illusion falls away and we experience heaven on earth.”

Said the Lord in a revelation given through the Prophet Joseph Smith, “In nothing doth man offend God, or against none is his wrath kindled, save those who confess not his hand in all things.”¹⁰ May we be found among those who give our thanks to our Heavenly Father. If ingratitude be numbered among the serious sins, then gratitude takes its place among the noblest of virtues.

Brothers and sisters, my sincere prayer is that we may adapt to the changes in our lives, that we may realize what is most important, that we may express our gratitude always and thus find joy in the journey."

Monday, January 17, 2011

Leaving Los Altos

I chose the picture at the top of this blog to signify the journey our family is making through very important, formative years. Yesterday, we took a literal journey away from things and people we love, toward things and people we also love. It was difficult, it was gut wrenching, it was heart breaking, and it was exhilarating, exciting, and renewing. And it was the first time I'd been able to just sit down and concentrate on one thing (driving in this case), without worrying about packing, moving, cleaning, etc. A friend texted me somewhere in the middle of Nevada asking how we were doing. I realized I had been singing The Eagles at the top of my voice for the last half hour (much to the chagrin of Angela and the kids), and it made me smile that I felt happy.

Man, I feel bipolar...

So we made it to Provo. It was dark and raining, and there was a reception party of family waiting for us. Lots of excited kids, a happy Angela to see her family, and one exhausted overwhelmed Dad - it took me a while to want to even get out of the car. It felt so weird that we were "home". We aren't sure we like the sound of that yet, but we're happy and ready to take on lots of new things.

And to our families, who probably wonder why we're acting so weird when we should be super stoked to be moving home close to everyone (we are, don't get me wrong...), please just understand that we left a part of our collective family heart in Los Altos, California. It's just going to take us a while to learn how to function without that piece.

We love you to all our family and friends, past, present, and future.

1 comment:

Whatcott said...: You and Angela are so good and making friends and are often the "hub" of groups. I'm not surprised at all that you leave feeling torn. I'm sure your California friends will always be grateful to have known you... BUT, we are so excited to get you now. :); January 18, 2011 at 1:16 PM

j . a . m . k . m . b

Pres. Thomas S. Monson, Oct 2008

Monday, January 17, 2011

Leaving Los Altos

1 comment:

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