j . a . m . k . m . b: The Good Outweighs the Bad

Pres. Thomas S. Monson, Oct 2008

"This is our one and only chance at mortal life—here and now. The longer we live, the greater is our realization that it is brief. Opportunities come, and then they are gone. I believe that among the greatest lessons we are to learn in this short sojourn upon the earth are lessons that help us distinguish between what is important and what is not. I plead with you not to let those most important things pass you by as you plan for that illusive and non-existent future when you will have time to do all that you want to do. Instead, find joy in the journey—now.

... Professor Harold Hill, one of the principal characters in [The Music Man], voices a caution that I share with you. Says he, “You pile up enough tomorrows, and you’ll find you’ve collected a lot of empty yesterdays.”

f you have children who are grown and gone, in all likelihood you have occasionally felt pangs of loss and the recognition that you didn’t appreciate that time of life as much as you should have. Of course, there is no going back, but only forward. Rather than dwelling on the past, we should make the most of today, of the here and now, doing all we can to provide pleasant memories for the future.

Stresses in our lives come regardless of our circumstances. We must deal with them the best we can. But we should not let them get in the way of what is most important—and what is most important almost always involves the people around us. Often we assume that they must know how much we love them. But we should never assume; we should let them know. Wrote William Shakespeare, “They do not love that do not show their love.”³ We will never regret the kind words spoken or the affection shown. Rather, our regrets will come if such things are omitted from our relationships with those who mean the most to us.

Send that note to the friend you’ve been neglecting; give your child a hug; give your parents a hug; say “I love you” more; always express your thanks. Never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved. Friends move away, children grow up, loved ones pass on. It’s so easy to take others for granted, until that day when they’re gone from our lives and we are left with feelings of “what if” and “if only.” Said author Harriet Beecher Stowe, “The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone.”

In the 1960s, during the Vietnam War, Church member Jay Hess, an airman, was shot down over North Vietnam. For two years his family had no idea whether he was dead or alive. His captors in Hanoi eventually allowed him to write home but limited his message to less than 25 words. What would you and I say to our families if we were in the same situation—not having seen them for over two years and not knowing if we would ever see them again? Wanting to provide something his family could recognize as having come from him and also wanting to give them valuable counsel, Brother Hess wrote—and I quote: “These things are important: temple marriage, mission, college. Press on, set goals, write history, take pictures twice a year.”

Said one well-known author: “Both abundance and lack [of abundance] exist simultaneously in our lives, as parallel realities. It is always our conscious choice which secret garden we will tend . . . when we choose not to focus on what is missing from our lives but are grateful for the abundance that’s present—love, health, family, friends, work, the joys of nature, and personal pursuits that bring us [happiness]—the wasteland of illusion falls away and we experience heaven on earth.”

Said the Lord in a revelation given through the Prophet Joseph Smith, “In nothing doth man offend God, or against none is his wrath kindled, save those who confess not his hand in all things.”¹⁰ May we be found among those who give our thanks to our Heavenly Father. If ingratitude be numbered among the serious sins, then gratitude takes its place among the noblest of virtues.

Brothers and sisters, my sincere prayer is that we may adapt to the changes in our lives, that we may realize what is most important, that we may express our gratitude always and thus find joy in the journey."

Monday, June 7, 2010

The Good Outweighs the Bad

Picture this: you're driving in the car with your daughter, talking away, about to enter a busy freeway, when all of a sudden something slams into your windshield, completely obscuring your view. You then realize it's your own hood that has flown open, smashed your windshield, and you're in big trouble because you're going fast and you can't see a thing. That was Angela and Micah on Friday afternoon.

I took my car in for a routine lube & oil and smog check during the day Friday, picked up the car and drove it home in time for Angela and Micah to leave for the City. Apparently the smog check place didn't close the hood properly, but since I wasn't going freeway speeds on my way home, there was no indication of this until Angela got going fast enough where the wind picked up the hood and folded it back on itself. So the car's a mess, but honestly we're pretty unconcerned about that because it could have been so much worse. If the hood had flown open just a couple of seconds later, after she had merged with busy, speeding traffic, I don't even want to contemplate the enormity of that disaster. So yeah, we feel very, very blessed that it wasn't worse.

This was a big weekend for Angela and me. Sunday was Angela's birthday, and today is our 16th wedding anniversary. We started the festivities by going to a nice dinner at the Los Altos Grill, followed by a late movie - Robin Hood. It was fun to exchange anniversary gifts at the restaurant. I made an Apple iPhoto book for Angela called "Mom and Me" and put in many of the best pictures of Angela with family members and friends over the years. She gave me a little getaway vacation she's been promising for a while now - complete with reservation this time :-) - in Carmel over the 4th of July weekend, which will be awesome!

Angela's birthday was actually a very busy Sunday. we had meetings and activities and stuff going on until we finally all got back together for a birthday dinner. I made BBQ ribs and baked potatoes with fruit. Angela got an iPad for her birthday, which predictably she said was too much, but because Micah and I knew that she would think that, we conveniently didn't include the receipt in the gift so she can't return it. Yeah, it probably is too much at this point in our lives, but hey, who gives a .......

So it's on to this week, the last week of school for the kids, getting the car fixed, and me taking a little trip out to Boise at the end of the week to cheer on Spencer and Dave in the Boise 70.3 1/2 Ironman. I think it's actually going to be a decent week...

j . a . m . k . m . b

Pres. Thomas S. Monson, Oct 2008

Monday, June 7, 2010

The Good Outweighs the Bad

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